dilettante | ♡INBOX (GOLDEN PEACOCK)

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♡INBOX (GOLDEN PEACOCK)

@reira

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(it might not have mattered much, to some. texas hadn't considered herself used, it felt that time like it followed a natural line. a line leading into it, she already lost their game. even could admit to herself, reira was attractive, she doesn't just do these things spontaneously. sex to some was only something as a means to an end. when it comes to separating the two, surprisingly (or not for those who notice), she does struggle in one way about allowing others to see her in that state. the struggle of vulnerability in a woman who can see it as a weakness. not for others, but for herself.

there is no reason to feel guilty, had reira sought to use her and leave, then texas might have thought twice about this. if only because it's felt as if anyone she's slept with vanishes on her. that she even allowed herself to be touched by someone is always going to be that way, with the wolf wondering to herself if she should. if she shouldn't try, it's only befitting her nature as she thinks dimly about how much of a coward she is in reality. putting on airs of confidence and strength, while the truth remains that she's nothing more than a woman who has her own problems. all which makes her feel pathetic.

she hasn't even told anyone else about what she once had been, one person got out of her that she was a former heiress. the only other two that know more of it had come from her world, though their learning about that more (for aak, anyway) had come from an unintended game. a game of "would you rather?". played by the guests and started by none other than the proprietress of the red cardinal herself, jin mingming. once reira takes the cup of tea, texas pulls herself together internally.

this isn't so bad, so she wants to say. her own stick of pocky was something she finished chewing shortly after, listening while given this offer. stay, huh? she could. it isn't like she has plans, not as of now. any deliveries she does is more as a side hustle than anything.

it earned her a few chips, it kept her busy.)

I can stay. (she'll refrain from making any comments related to her old life again.) I don't mind, anyway.

(the wolf did glance over at the other woman, maybe she didn't need to hear that apology. she wasn't sure if she should take it, but her feeling used is sadly a product of the house alone in what people she's lost. it doesn't fall on reira to offer that when she can blame it on that parasite known as the house. regardless, she moves on and pulls up the recipe just to ensure this goes smoothly. texas didn't want to accidentally mess things up.) Shouldn't take too long, let me know if you need any more tea, too. (she's changed since arriving, or that's what she tells herself too. she's gotten better at some things, though not everything is different for her.

the most she can do is keep going forward while she starts to get everything and glances back at her watch periodically. it'll be fine, for once.)

I should be okay with this.

( she lifted her cup of tea up with a soft smile as she relaxed into the couch and began to blow onto the surface, then sip away. for the longest of times reira had been without a permanent home, on the road, traveling as a successful singer of a band. her suite now reflected that just a bit— clashing aesthetics between the kitchen and the living room, with the rest of the suite seeming to feel like a soft and pink vintage store. yet there was something about it that spoke about who she was—

when texas finally made her way into it, it looked like a high end recording studio pulled straight from a modern music executive's office. the couches were modern and grey, an old grand piano in the center and other instruments she managed to nag the staff into giving her were strewn about. there were several journals on the coffee table, filled in with lyrics and musical notes.

her own attitude about her music career had been abysmal back home, but given the freedom here and the lack of overall restrictions well...she slowly came around to appreciating her talents far more than she had been expecting. )

Ah you can just set things anywhere on the coffee table, let me move this stuff.

( she placed her cup directly on the table [no coaster], and began to scoop up and push away the journals and other items on there to make space for the re-heated up taquitos and chips and salsa. once it was clear, she sat back down on the couch and patted the spot next to her. )

Come sit right next to me. I wish they had better music here, or else I'd put something on but I'm sure you realize by now well....all the music here is moaning and that kind of garbage~

(as long as she's okay, then. that's something texas thinks to herself again, although briefly. she did notice how the aesthetics seem to clash, but it was a familiar clash. the emperor had fancy offices like this, she was often keeping him safe within those before his new business venture took off more. texas was his first and only employee back then, a wolf he decided he couldn't leave alone after seeing how doubtful and angry she was.

he saw in her someone that needed it, a distraction. help. while the scent of another beast lord had clung to her in a familiar perfume for him. the scent of one in particular hoping to make her into a tool for his wicked chess game that the signori dei lupi had played for centuries. she was to be his ace for that round of it, useful and talented in what she does. capable of ending lives without a second thought before she comes toward the couch. the food was done, steaming hot and ready to eat for a young woman who wasn't feeling too well.

though texas knows, she shouldn't be eating anything spicy. it's a different worry, for another time, while she sets down the plates and everything on the table with enough care in it. she didn't need to hit those journals, if anything there's recognition in them for herself. sora does similar. writing everything down that she could come up with, lyrics and melodies for her own music whenever inspiration had struck her. the only difference is that the other songstress texas thinks about was someone who loved the stage. she lived and breathed it, in her arts by singing or more than that.

the restrictions aside, she was at home with that group of misfits texas had been the start of. it's enough to make her miss her again. she won't express it, but she would wonder if she noticed she wasn't there, too. if anyone has. this resort really is the worst on the wolf, but she did sit next to reira when offered.

the comment about music, though, that got her attention....)

I bought CDs I saw with chips that were unfamiliar at one point, somehow it turned out to be actual albums of groups and people I hadn't heard of.

(she has a stereo going in her own suite constantly, with actual music for her own sanity. if it's too silent, she struggles to sleep. not that the music helps her out all the time. sometimes these things just happened. nightmares are always bound to haunt her, the same as any dreams that do when it comes to this life she never spoke about seriously.)

....though I'm a bit of an odd case when it comes to these things. My boss is a rapper and my coworker is a pop idol.

Edited 2025-08-07 19:14 (UTC)

( there was always an interesting parallel between her and other people in the resort who lavished in the arts. every person she's met genuinely seemed to enjoy their talents and their celebrity status back home. though she's softened up to her own work a bit, actually putting in effort for this concert idea she has, she still wasn't too invested in her talents. a simple song, 'time after time' by an american singer set her on this path along with a life-long obsession with a childhood friend, but here in the resort, with time and distance, all of it seemed so silly now. perhaps she really was maturing, falling out of love with that man who ruined her life.

she was her own person here, and it showed with the kind of company she had. she didn't have to manipulate texas to get this kind of attention really; it made her feel good having such a kind guest tending to her.

when she finally came around and placed the warm food before her, reira sniffed it a bit before letting out a loud sound of enjoyment. though before she dug in, she turned to texas with a curious expression. )

Wait so what you bought didn't have any moaning or sexual noises in it? I guess maybe the free music is all erotic...

( she hadn't bothered going through the music stores here yet actually; she assumed it was all smut and filth and not worth her time. perhaps this should be part of their 'date'. )

Eh really? There's quite a few 'idols' here now that I think about it...I must be one of the few traditional celebrities around here. Back home I was the lead singer of a very popular band in Japan. We moved to Tokyo and everything to make it big.

(she hadn't known, exactly, the history of everyone involved in the resort and the things that they've all been through. texas has her own history, something which often goes unsaid. sometimes people might catch remarks about things less than normal, things that were worrisome. about things teetering into a nightmarish suggestion of what could happen to them if they were in the old country. sometimes it was innocent, other times it wasn't with imagery of concrete shoes and worse being spoken about while the wolf seemed so unfazed. like she knows it, knows it too well, at that.

she didn't need manipulation to come check on someone when they needed it, to genuinely go and see others while offering what kindness she has left. a kindness that her own childhood friend so rarely sees when it comes to cellinia letting out her true thoughts and feelings, but they didn't need to know that. not about the struggles she faces with such emotions, such thoughts while the wolf leans back into her seat.

her posture is casual, relaxed. her tail even could be seen resting calmly next to her, but she's wondering to herself. did reira not go check the stores? not that the wolf blames her, even she saw audible smut around for sale. sometimes it was proper cds, nothing even from her world, yet she would give them a listen.)

Surprisingly, not everything is actual music. I'll at least mention that, but I did manage to find some.

(she'll remember that, for later. her own library of music was composed of what pop and rap tracks that cellinia could get her hands on. sometimes it worked out, decent music and decent vibes. others? well, she can meet it with a bit of scrutiny. being around the top rapper in terra means she's learned to pick up on things with their bars and flow.

if their flow sucks, it can kill the vibe. the song itself, too.)

My boss is the actual big celebrity, legendary rap and all that jazz. Before things took off more with the logistics company, I was his bodyguard while he worked festivals and concerts on the side.

( in all fairness— since when did a diva who had her own personal assistant back home to handle the mundane things, did more than just a general sweep of the store? sure she'd become more independent being here, especially working out on her own without anyone to motivate and prompt her to, but there were still aspects of the spoiled princess aura she had seeping here and there.

it showed with how chaotic the ambiance of her suite was, how there were journals scattered about, and how she often didn't do much for herself [not with nami showing her how to order the staff around]. surely she could be forgiven for that, but as texas went on, she looked genuinely intrigued and surprised—

and somewhere along the way she scooted in a bit closer to the other, big doe eyes rolling up and batting away at her as she held out the plate of food for them to both dig into. )

Eh you were a bodyguard too? Maybe I should hire you while we're here....though no one's made me feel unsafe....but it would be cool wandering around the resort with you protecting me.

( off she went, fantasizing about that prospect with a bit of a glazed over look to her eyes. texas will have to snap her out of her fantasies if she wants her to come back. )

Edited 2025-08-09 05:50 (UTC)

(that was true. celebrities, even the diva's, have different lifestyles in comparison to the common masses. texas herself knew of the richer life, though she held a dislike for thinking herself higher than others. she wasn't. former heiress or not, she earned her independence. she cooked for herself, she even would do things that maids and butlers would have done at the manor. at the saluzzo estate, too, in her recollection, and giovanna's own home in the case of her other childhood friend.

the difference in her treatment of giovanna compared to texas's treatment of lappland is....honestly depressing. the feline (giovanna) was treated better than her fellow lone wolf (lappland) for the most part.

it didn't really faze texas, not the state of her suite and how things were strewn about. that felt normal for someone that was used to living a more privileged life. except, she finds herself a little flustered by those doe eyes and how she bats her lashes at the wolf. enough to cause her sharp amber eyes to look away after taking a taquito for herself like she were attempting to play it off.)

....if you think you need to anyway, I could. I've seen how overzealous the guests and staff get with royalty.

(never mind that texas almost wants to ask what she's even imagining, she isn't sure if she wants to know. actually, it might even manage to make her perform her infamous texas brand stare, where she has a look on her face that regrets everything in her life to that point.)

Well if you're looking to earn more chips here and there, maybe I'll consider it. I'm saving up some of my money for this concert idea I had in mind, we're actually going to have clean and safe food provided by Topaz and her team.

( once the taquito was swooped off the plate, reira took the other one and began to nibble away at it with a rather happy expression on her face. despite feeling under the weather, she seemed genuinely happy and at peace.

it seemed the dangerous wolf, who scolded her for telling her that she could relax around her, was now leaving reira feeling comfortable enough to do that. in fact enough to outright invite her to this event— )

Will you consider coming to the mini concert? I'm hoping to have everything ready by the time the batch of new arrivals comes to the resort. Hiyori-kun and I suspect it'll be sometime in September.

( she'd been working on this for a long time— people who agreed to help her had been working away as well, but she'd been recruiting new people as some of them ended up vanishing by the time she had it all organized. it seemed time wasn't on her side but she seemed eager to push through with this idea. )

We wanted to offer new arrivals who might be scared and worried something nice to enjoy...free of worries regarding the resort and all...

Edited 2025-08-11 21:03 (UTC)

(her half-hearted scolding aside, she did notice reira was more relaxed. at ease. texas has always been that way, with not wanting to admit things to herself. stubborn, trying to take everything on alone while reminding herself that it's better she did. another contradiction, but she always cared more than she let on. the words weren't scathing, but almost sad about something she accepted at that moment where they were more focused on pleasure than rational thinking. mixed with alcohol and other things while she chomps into her own taquito.

she might never think herself deserving of it. anything good would always fade away from her hands. it's always taken, or it always feels too good to be true. she can long for something sweet and gentle, but she finds herself undeserving of anything near it after the years of blood spilled under dirty water and unclean rain on the streets of the old country.

her half-hearted words were only something she ignored in the end. she's here, and she's only reminding herself that it's another contradiction in her life. the wolf recognizes that name, hiyori? topaz was new, but hiyori....she knew him, she knew his boyfriend, jun, too.)

I can do that. Jun might ask me to because of Hiyori, too.

(she was why they had those matching necklaces, when she went around finding gifts for everyone over the holiday's. a sun and moon pair, something sweet for their romance. weiss even at the time was given a bottle necklace made up of snowflakes within it.

maybe this year she might go around delivering more gifts, who knows. it'll depend on what happens, if she keeps losing people she cared about or not. regardless, reira seemed like she had her heart in this event. it wouldn't be as nice if texas didn't also give her all for the sake of a safer time at the concert.)

I won't tell them anything unless they ask me, at least so they don't have to be distressed until after for any new arrivals.

Edited 2025-08-13 13:51 (UTC)

Ah you know Jun? I haven't met him yet but Hiyori-kun raves quite a bit about him! I'm so happy that the people I like...well like each other!

( it's a bit silly for her to compartmentalize her relationships like this, but when she mentioned one name to someone she knew and liked, their responses were always positive. surely that meant she had a good choice in picking confidants right? well she could only hope that was true because truthfully she was also the kind of woman who was deathly afraid of people leaving her.

so while texas beat her to the punch, if she hadn't offered such kindness to her, reira was sure she'd find a way to keep her coming back. especially after such a magnetizing encounter together. )

Ah well it's alright. I'm sure word is getting around anyways given I've been recruiting quite a bit of people to help out. Nami-chan told me a good 'hack' to get the staff to organize the stage and space for us, so we're good there. I also finally managed to get a small entourage from the staff, so I'll order them around for the menial stuff.

( she almost seemed to sparkle at those words— surprisingly she'd been a terrible queen. not using her advantage and privilege to the fullest until others showed her to do it. )

I do, yes. He was one of the first people I met with a few others when I arrived.

(hilda, ragna, weiss, shouko....she could remember their names clearly. not to mention reed who was from her own world, they all left. never to be seen again as the resort took them far away. turning them to marble statues, she still didn't know where hilda, ragna, and weiss were last at. she didn't even know yet where lappland's could be, but she hadn't been looking too hard for now. texas thinks it's better to ask later if she really gets agitated attempting to find them by herself.

but she's getting ahead of herself, this kindness she displayed was her own decision. giving her something while expecting little else in return. the reminders might never fade of that cutesy songstress she once knew, how she only wanted what was best for the wolf and gave her some manner of peace. the only difference is, reira isn't sora. the two of them are not the same in how they act and do things. it still didn't stop her from this soft spot, not even her own curiosity.)

Be careful, then. Sometimes they can get overzealous, with or without being ordered around. I've seen it a bit with someone I used to know who was a queen rank.

(poor weiss. though they both spoke little about their pasts, texas felt comfortable with her. the same way she did with ragna. just enough to inch toward the truth, but a pity how that went, with them leaving as she was on the cusp of admitting she hadn't told them the full story about herself.

never mind that she's choosing to ignore that her tone isn't as sharp or as distant as she would normally be. aak might ask again if she's fine, since she rarely speaks candidly like this.)

It's been quite some time since then huh?

( she leaned back in her seat as she polished off the last bits of her food before taking a napkin to wipe away at her hands. reira almost sounded wistful with her tone of voice— really she hadn't been here that long and yet she could sense how heavy those words were. she could only imagine how many people have come and gone in texas' life in the past year but she couldn't quite bring herself to ask.

things were fine like this, resting peacefully and having small conversation over her little project and the little things about this resort. it almost made reira wonder— when did things become so normal? when did she stop waking up the next day thinking she was in her world and just accepting she was waking up in her suite?

it almost made her feel guilty that she'd become to comfortable living here, but even then there was always something new to learn and discover such as that little warning about the staff. they'd mostly praised and fawn over her, sexualizing her a bit when she ran out in the sexy costumes she was given. it made sense, she'll make a note to be careful.

for now though she scooped up the chips and some of the salsa texas prepared, munching away at it before smiling at the other. )

I'll make sure to be careful about that. I haven't really asked them for too much but I am hoping they don't do anything too troublesome to ruin the concert. I suppose we'll see when the day comes....

For now though—

( she chewed on some more of the chips before making a soft moaning sound. )

Your salsa is incredible ah~! I really should get your recipe sometime.

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♡INBOX (GOLDEN PEACOCK)

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meant to write *anytime oops

no worries, it happens!

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going to wrap this up here ♥