dilettante | ♡ OPEN POST

( with the cool beach wind becoming stronger, reira turned to fully face the girl next to her, a single tear dripping down the side of her face. the words were comforting but all the men out there [metaphorically speaking], could not replace the longing she had for one specific man. )

Not in the line of work I do....I'm so isolated and caged. All I can do is be perfect and sing.

( there was also that fear of anyone approaching her or knowing who she was, was only out to use her. )

I just wish I could have the person I wanted. I think...if I had taken drastic measures, he would have been mine from the start.

Edited 2025-01-17 00:54 (UTC)

[ Oh, dear. Rin knows that feeling.

Unfortunately, at her big old age, she can say little to reassure this woman that she will get who she wants, after all.

Instead, she decides to go with her curiosity. She cocks her head at the woman. ]

What kind of "drastic measures" are we talking about?

I know this is cruel of me to say, but I can't help it.

( she knows the woman before her doesn't know of takumi and hachi-

frankly it would be far too convoluted to explain considering she herself only heard snippets of what happened and how it happened. what she did know was how things appeared to her from her point of view. to her, it looked like a fan of takumi's deliberately had slept with him without protection, and got what any fan would want.

a husband, a house, a stable life free of work. what did reira get for her years of loyalty and devotion to this man? the reward of being treated like a machine whose purpose was to make him feel emotionally well and provide for him. it was heartbreaking for her. )

If I had lowered myself to his level, slept with him and gotten pregnant....he would be mine forever. But I didn't....I never even got the chance to be loved by him at all, instead here I am, watching him live the life I wanted with someone else.

[ Rin quietly sucks in air when Reira says this. Oof. Tale as old as time, really, but it hurts every one who goes through it anew.

She licks her lips, choosing her words carefully. ]

Would you really want that, though? Be tied to someone who doesn't love you back?

( that was a good question and frankly, even though it hurt as she thought about how much she regretted not doing that-

even as someone as obsessed as her knew it was a terrible idea. she would have come to hated him and their child most likely if things had turned out like that. )

I would have been happy for a while probably...but truthfully...no. I don't think I could tolerate all the women he has on the side after some time.

( yet.... )

I think I would have been happy at least being one of his women for a while. Maybe if I saw how terrible he was up close...I would have fallen out of love.

[ So that's how it is.

Well. The thing about Rin is, she may have gained a lot of experience, but she has not quite lost her occasional bluntness. So all she says is: ]

Girl, you dodged a bullet.

( the moment those words came out from the stranger before her, reira looked at her with a soft expression, remaining silent for what seemed like forever. the silence dragged on as a soft drift of beach breeze came past them, sweeping her long hair to the side.

finally she broke into a smile and chuckled just a bit. of course it sounded all so silly when she verbalized the situation, dissected it and explained it to someone who didn't know the depths of the relationship she had with takumi.

in the end though even reira knew the stranger before her was right. it would have been a miserable life, yet she was still trapped in some weird extension of it. )

I guess I did, didn't I? Yet my heart refuses to let go of those feelings, even if my mind agrees it would be a terrible fate for me.

[ Rin has the decency to blush a little. Embarrassed at her own outburst, she puts a hand on her cheek. ]

Sorry! That was, uhm, a little direct, maybe.

[ She gives the stranger a smile that is somehow both sad and hopeful. ]

I know how it feels. And it'll probably hurt for a while. But I'm confident it'll get better.

( overall when she thought about it more, the entire situation was embarrassing. yet to hear that this person had experience with heartbreak, or at least some degree of what reira had gone through was comforting.

at her words though, she shook her head and let out a sigh. it seemed all the tension had gone away with that breath alone. )

No, I think I need direct sometimes. I've....tried moving on with someone new before but it didn't quite work out either. He wasn't very direct with me and I think it didn't really help me.

( all things considered he probably wasn't mature enough to help her. )

You...you've been hurt too huh? You don't need to tell me, but I guess since I just poured out my heart to you...it would only be fair.

[ Oh, Rin has been hurt many times over, starting on her fourteenth birthday all the way back in 1790.

But she can hardly tell a random stranger that. The chance of being believed is fairly low.

So she just smiles. ]

That's alright, thank you. I've had plenty of time to come to terms with it.

[ It occurs to her that now they've bared their hearts to each other, she might as well introduce herself. ]

My name's Asano Rin, by the way.

( was this a kindred spirit? someone who could come to understand her?

whatever the answers were, at the very least it had been a good conversation. it didn't take away all of her pain but it was enough to be heard without complete judgement. )

I'm sorry Rin, I went on and on without introducing myself properly.

( with her slightly drier now, reira held her hand out to the other. )

I'm Layla Serizawa, but I often get called 'Reira'.

[ Huh. A foreigner, or mixed race person? Rin hadn't really assumed anything based on appearance -- after all, Layla's hair could've been dyed and permed. Very popular these days, especially among pop stars.

She says nothing about it, simply gives Layla another smile. ]

It's nice to meet you, Layla! Do you live nearby or are you visiting?

I....I was actually raised in this small town.

( should she be saying this to a stranger? probably not considering who she was after all. yet fear for her own safety just wasn't there-

rin seemed like the kind of person who wouldn't harm her. perhaps she was wrong, but in the end she continued on. )

My mother still lives here so I came by to visit. Something about the ocean just reminds me of the past...

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